I had a bit of a tough moment today. Greg’s mom was asking him about the baby shower, and what I wanted – did I want it to be a surprise? When did I want to have it? Unfortunately, as it turns out, she’s also going on a three-week trip to Florida right after new years. I’m due on Valentines Day, so waiting for her to get back isn’t really feasible. But this means I have to have it at the height of holiday season, when everyone’s incredibly busy and distracted, or just plain not home. To add to the mix, my sister lives in California, which I always knew would be an issue when it came to having the baby and now I’m having to face it. She’s actually coming home for Christmas this year, so I was half thinking we could manage to have the shower while she’s here, maybe right after new years. But now I’m having to choose between her and my mother-in-law, and obviously my mother-in-law is going to have to win out here.
Then there’s another thing weighing on my mind, which is that I HATE BABY SHOWERS. I’ve been avoiding thinking about it because they make me gag a little. Then there’s the ever-pervasive fact that I don’t have a best friend to do this for me. My sister still lived here when we had my wedding shower, so that was easy peasy, she just had it at her house. Now it’s up to my mom and mother-in-law to throw it, and since they live in the suburbs it’s going to fall on me to host at my house. In my head, baby showers are always thrown by your best girl friend at her house, and since she’s your girlfriend, she knows you well enough not to allow any bullshit baby shower games. But not having a best girl friend, I’m at a loss here. But I guess maybe I just need to own it, and basically throw the party for myself in the way that I want it. No stork paraphernalia, or diaper decorations. I was actually thinking we might be able to squeeze it in on a Friday night, which feels so much more festive to me than a depressing Sunday afternoon affair.
I have this hippy dippy book that someone lent me called Birthing From Within. I’m not *particularly* hippy dippy, but I probably lean more that way than, say, to The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy. Anyway, I was just starting to read it today, and it talks about baby showers and childbirth in general, and how it’s become completely geared toward the baby and pays almost no attention to the mother. It talks about an alternative to a baby shower called a Mother Blessing. And okay, never in a thousand years would I make someone send out invitations to a Mother Blessing, but I like the concept a little better. It’s really about getting together to honor the mother along with the baby, and share stories and good thoughts. The idea of baby showers being solely for the purpose of unwrapping breast pumps and rectal thermometers and oohing and ahhing over frilly bubblegum pink dresses or onesies with sports motifs grosses me out. Honestly if it were up to me I probably wouldn’t have anything, I’d just buy pacifiers and bottle sterilizers on Amazon and call it a day. But I do like the idea of having a gathering of ladies to chat and get excited about the baby. So I need to do some research on non-traditional baby showers.
Oh the trials of a non-traditional mom-to-be.