Category Archives: dumb

just another morning in South Philly

This morning – November 11th, temperature approximately 45 degrees – while driving to work I saw a guy get out of a contractor truck wearing only sweatpants (tugged below his enormous belly) and a newsboy cap. So apparently when leaving his house on a November morning and faced with the decision between “shirt” and “cap” he chose the latter. My mom always did say that 90% of your body head escapes through your head, I guess.

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the things that worry me most about an alien invasion

Sometimes I’m given to quite ridiculous flights of fancy. I don’t know what the train of thought is that brings me to these ideas, but here’s one of them (TMI warning):

Sometimes when I’m going to the bathroom, especially at work, I think, what if there were some sort of major disaster right now? Like a Cloverfield or War of the Worlds type situation, where there’s a three hundred foot monster wreaking havoc on the city, and it suddenly comes and crushes half of my building. And so what if I had to jump up in the middle of going to the bathroom, and I didn’t have time to wipe, and then I had to be on the run from this monster for the next few days. Not only would I be separated from my loved ones, but I’d have to run around in my dirty pants for days.

These are the things I think about.